It is easy not to think about death when it doesn't or hasn't really affected your life. One of my neighbours passed away recently, just like that. Puff and she was gone, like smoke. She left behind a wonderful husband, a parrot called Max (who has been on Britain's got talent and in a James Bond Film) and a street of people who adored her and who all knew each other thanks to her friendly and warm persona. It is very rare for a street in south east London to be like a parody of Coronation Street, believe me. We will all miss Irene but it does beg the question: Why hadn't I really thought about death until this happened and why is the subject of death considered taboo in the western world?
Sogyal Rinpoche offers us a lucid explanation of his views in his work: "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying." Sogyal believes that death is like a mirror, in which the true meaning of life is reflected. From his perspective, in Western society we don't look at life and death as a whole, we isolate death which is why there is so much fear and taboo around the subject. This makes complete sense to me. Whenever we ignore anything in life, it has a tendency to catch up and inject fear into us. If we aren't in control of when we die, maybe there isn't much point in worrying about it too much, yet still be unafraid to confront it like a mirror when it happens.
The pain and sense of loss I feel for Irene is burning strong. Maybe, now living with the immediacy of death is helping me sort out my priorities in life. Perhaps it will help me to live a less trivial life. I definitely feel more prepared to deal with death than I did last week. I hope I can continue to feel this way.
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